Alias takes a break from stepping into other people’s shoes. His ‘original self’ strolls through the streets and parks, wearing his old runners, which have passed the test of time. He breathes easy in meditation, trying to clear his mind from all the hype and confusion of recent months when, un-intentionally, his mind’s eye captures memory flashes of fear and panic. Repeated, worrying news articles flicker on and off, such as: ‘The new Russian secret weapon the world should be afraid of’. ‘The whole world should be worried about the invincible Chinese Navy’. ‘Scary, catastrophic climatic disasters are imminent’. ‘Terrifying discovery on Mars’. As though this wasn’t enough, there comes a ‘chilling’ outburst by ‘Puterasputin’ the crazy Russian garden gnome, threatening chemical world war by the smoke from his ‘Bong’. Alias can imagine how all this anxiety promotion wouldn’t go down well with the mental health campaign. Resting on a park bench, he notices some welcome rain clouds appearing in the distance, signaling the end of a drought. Peacefully, he doses off until some soothing warm raindrops inspire him to savour the balance of nature, in this case, wet and dry. While still immersed in nature’s tranquility, he suddenly remembers another warning he recently saw on the news that said: There will be a ‘Climate Armageddon’ before 2050. Alias knows that Armageddon refers to a prophesised, final military battle on the plain of Armageddon, (northern Israel) un-related to the climate. Obviously, the authors of this ‘present day prophesy’ haven’t done their homework and perhaps, together with all the other scare-mongers, they shouldn’t be taken seriously. Relieved, Alias decides to view the world on his own analyses, distant from rumours, speculations, and baseless predictions. He liberates his mind from all projected shock, fear, and worry, as he dances down the road under his ‘Mary Poppins’ umbrella, singing: “Don’t worry, be happy”.
Australian author of Journey of Life and the new book, Real, Bold and Simple. Student at the University of Experience.
Ooh Arthritis! What art thou doing?
Autumn is in full swing (in the southern hemisphere), cold wind ‘blows through the bones’. My joints keep reminding me of their state of deterioration. In a surreal realm, near total absence of sensory perception, my muscles contract to the density of concrete, blocking every lifeline to the brain, causing it to dwell in disinterest and vanity.
Pain and discomfort sabotages all attempts on inspiration. Dull and numbed, I can’t think of any topic to write about, so I thought; why not post a few lines on the topic of the moment, namely Arthritis?
The range of ‘wonder products’ for the cure or relief of Arthritis appears to be infinite, as well as mostly in-effective. I volunteer to wash the dishes because the warm water sooths the hands and wrists. A few awkward movements at work and sport have knocked my back into ‘Hexenschuss’ (Lumbago). A blend of massage’, physiotherapy and medication, makes life more bearable and it’s beauty more conceivable. Experts tell me to keep moving and taking medication, which leads me to the conclusion that I am condemned to a life of hard work and red wine, “Talking about keeping the yin-yang balanced”!
Alias the Spy
A recession hits and Alias finds himself unemployed. In search of a job, he steps into the boots of a spy for the kingdom of ‘Wantobe’. King ‘Upmyself’ and his subjects aren’t very creative or ingenious, so they rely heavily on espionage for their industrial and military development. Corruption is rife, needless to say; shortcuts are taken in all fields of industry. The information Alias steals from the republic of ‘Advancealot’, leads no further than to the production of inferior copies of goods and machinery.
Adjacent to Wantobe lies ‘Incompetenca’, a kingdom which is mismanaged by his Majesty, the narcistic Sun King ‘Poleuparse’, who is considered a Deity. Incompetenca is a large, backward, hermit kingdom with utopian ambitions. The king hires Alias to act as a double agent and spy on Wantobe, which he has a kind of ‘Love/Hate’ relationship with.
Thanks to Alias’s outstanding efforts, Incompetenca soon manufactures vast quantities of commodities, which are incomplete copies of inferior copies. To make it worse, morale among the underpaid workers is low and work ethics are non-existent. The king’s delirious vision to rule the world is shattered when their guns back-fire, planes drop out of the sky, missiles explode at launch, and his navy’s ships sink. He accuses Alias for providing false information and sentences him to death. Alias manages to escape back to Wantobe, where he meets the same fate, this time for treason. Fortunately, he finds just enough time to step back into his own shoes.
Alias – Genesis +
Alias re-vitalises his passion for time travel. He kick-starts his dusty time machine and lands in the ‘Book of Genesis’. God says: “Let there be light”; and there was light. A month later, the Devil sends him a ‘trillion dollar’ power bill. Well, it ain’t cheap to light up the earth and all the planets and stars for a whole month. Considering the price of coal was at an all-time high, add carbon tax and GST, the hellfire power station wasn’t making much profit.
Alias moves the forward lever on the dashboard, rattles through the ages when suddenly, his time machine stops abruptly. He calls the inter-era helpline and is placed number 3050700000000 in the queue, which is quite reasonable considering the enormous time-span between Genesis and the Apocalypse.
Fortunately, the breakdown happened in a time-warp, so the wait for service allows just for a comfortable ‘power nap’. Repairs done, Alias hits the accelerator and soon lands in 2084. The whole earth is now governed by the Sino-Russian ‘Rouge States Union’, under the brutal rule of ‘Ivan Ping Pong’, ‘the terrible’. Alias learns that the free world had been trying in vain to prevent this from happening, using strong words of condemnation to fend off missiles and chemical weapons. He wanders the spy-camera lined streets and falls into one of the many potholes. Bleeding and in pain, he lies there for many hours before help arrives. The sun descents below the horizon, as the conscripted paramedics in their shabby uniforms, carry Alias several kilometers to a run-down, rat ridden medical tent. Surgery is postponed indefinitely, because ‘Ivan Ping Pong’ has offended his ally the Devil, whose fiddle he had previously danced to. In response the devil turned off the power supply. Alias regrets having left his time machine, while he visualizes his escape to a better world. His day-dream is interrupted, when a government official orders Alias to prey to the two highest Gods of the empire, Vladimir and Xi. When he refuses, he is brutally beaten to death by three secret service agents.
At heaven’s gate, he fails a ‘Covid Test’, and is placed into isolation on a dark cloud at the end of a queue of millions. He can but dream of his time machine.
White Elephant Law
“Law only has value when enforced” this is largely overlooked by the authorities.
I recall, when I refereed at the national Taekwondo championships, an unruly coach became verbally violent against us officials, threatening a repeat of the 9/11 terrorist attacks while his club members were throwing bottles at us.
This serious breach of the ‘Coaches Code of Conduct’ was met with impunity by the Association’s authorities. In fact, soon after, he was quoted one of Australia’s most elite coaches!
Another coach, who repeatedly violated the child protection rules was proclaimed one of Australia’s most respected instructors.
Littering, and bicycle helmet laws are poorly enforced.
Let’s escalate this topic and raise it to a more potent level.
While Hitler, Stalin, and Pol Pot rose to power, nothing was done until it was too late. International law and treaties weren’t worth the paper they were written on.
‘White Elephant’ laws and words are baseless rhetoric wrapped in illusionary action, while civilians, including children were brutally murdered. They died in agony, cut to pieces by Josef Mengele. They were tortured in the Gulags under Stalin and Brezhnev. They were bludgeoned to death by Pol Pot’s Khmer Rouge. They are now being blown to pieces by the insane egomaniac, coward and tyrant, Vladimir Putin.
Putin and Xi Zinping have made their imperialist intentions very clear, same as Hitler made his clear when he wrote ‘Mein Kampf’.
Negotiations with dictators are in vain, so-called ‘white elephants’, for dictators are compulsive liars on anything that doesn’t fit their world view.
Sanctions are effective in the long run, often after the damage is done. What the world needs now is early intervention, actively targeting authoritarian leaders, before they accumulate excessive power. Should this deadline be missed, and the first shots are fired, the only option is to retaliate immediately with overwhelming military force, cutting the head of the dragon by targeting the aggressor’s leaders.
“Cheers to the brave people of Ukraine”!
The New Model Strikes Again
Continued from ‘The New Model’ posted on 22nd October 2017
Trying to renew my annual Taekwondo Club Registration, I was recently confronted with the confusion of yet another ‘New Model’. It turns out, our national association has outsourced management.
During the transition process, the new management-platform failed to recognise my extensive ‘prior learning’ or experience, which is predominantly the intellectual property of older members. This is nothing short of ‘Age Discrimination’, ironically happening at a time when some new ‘anti-discrimination’ bill was about to be passed in parliament.
Following a three month first aid course at high school many years ago, which I passed with a straight ‘A’, I have done countless, fully accredited refresher courses. During my first 15 years of teaching Martial Arts, I was one of the very few instructors that had first aid qualifications. Now, my membership renewal was rejected, on grounds of my expired first aid certificate, which I was unable to renew during the peak of the COVID pandemic, as did many other instructors. After we were reassured this will be accommodated for, by means of an extended time frame for renewal, the ‘New Model’ refused to comply. Having now updated my first aid credentials, my other inquiries remain unanswered by the relevant authorities.
Requests for clarity on weird and confusing ‘New Model’ rules have traditionally been met with an intriguing ‘Total Silence’, rivalled only by the publishing industry.
It appears, another unrealistic, complex ‘New Model’ has infiltrated the sports. It is a rigid, uncompromising,
de-humanising system, transparently with the commercialisation of sport at its core. As it happens, sport is already over-commercialised, leaving little or no room for the needs and wellbeing of the individual, especially when it comes to ‘Mental health’.
To save myself drowning in the senseless complexity of the new model, I have now arranged for my club/school to operate independently.
The ‘expert’ creators of new models often assert simplicity as the basis of their platform. Little do they realise that it is simple only for them, within the sphere of their virtual expertise, far removed from the real world.
“Experts on the loose can be dangerous”.
Listen to the story
Everyone has a story to tell. There once was a very interesting TV series titled ‘seven billion stories and counting’. This program is no more but the stories have now grown to around eight billion. Listening to each other’s stories contributes to world peace, understanding and harmony.
When I mention ‘stories’, I don’t refer to bragging, intimidation, indoctrination, or trying to impress or to achieve some outcome. A story in its true context means one’s experiences told truthfully and with integrity.
Beware, some people’s stories are infinite. Unless you wind it up, (I recommend you do this politely), you will die of old age listening!
Christmas Greetings
Dear readers, thank you sincerely for reading my blogs throughout the year, also for your highly appreciated ‘likes’, ‘shares’, and all the profound, encouraging, and often courageously written and verbal comments on my ‘frequently politically incorrect’ blogs.
Authors are now encouraged to have their work audited for political correctness, by ‘sensitivity readers’ in case anyone may take offence to our verses or words, such as ‘Christmas’. I believe’ to comply with this, would be morally incorrect and an assault on free speech and sanity.
Christmas is about truth and salvation, embodied in the birth of Christ. “The truth is offensive only to those who don’t seek it”.
On this note, I like to wish you a wonderful Christmas, whether you are a Christian or not. May your prayers be answered, your visions and hopes be fulfilled in the new year, whether it be the solar, lunar, or any other year.
Alias travels back in time
Weary of time travelling into the future, Alias decides to take a U-turn and explore the past on a mystery ticket. He meets Nostradamus who, fearing legal action, is in the process of rephrasing the terminology for his predictions from ‘will’, to ‘‘may’ or ‘could’, e.g. instead of “Pigs will fly”, he now says “Pigs may fly”.
Taking a big leap, Alias lands in an ice age. The ‘Homo Erectus’ are busy praying and making sacrifices to their Gods in the hope to be rewarded with ‘Global Warming’. The Gods respond: “Burn more fossil fuels”!
Next, Alias’s mystery ticket catapults him into the late nineteenth century. Running low on money, he registers with an employment agency. To his surprise, he soon receives a letter saying he is ‘head hunted’ for a high position. Alias is excited and self-assured he was chosen for his qualifications and professional status. He travels to meet his future employer in Borneo, who explains: When I saw your passport photo I thought; “Your head would look really nice hanging from my ceiling”. Alias, who considers himself ‘over- qualified’ for the proposed position, declines the offer and runs for his life.
On his return trip from history, Alias makes a short stop during the Nazi Era. He listens to Hitler and Goebbels shouting their sadistic threats and propaganda in psychotic rage. When Alias finally arrives back in early 2021, he watches the news, and he is served some kind of a replay by ‘Xi Jing Hitler’ and ‘Zhao Goebbels’. In comparison he realizes: Adolf Hitler and Friedrich Goebbels had a logistical back-up to carry out their militarily ambitious threats while Xi and Zhao’s naive rhetoric is pure vanity, a clumsy attempt to hide underlying mayhem.
Later in 2021 during the advent of the ‘UN Climate Summit’, ‘Schoolies’ in Britain ask Boris Johnson to tell Australia to stop the bush fires, because they kill the animals and trees. Alias quickly steps into the shoes of the Australian foreign minister and replies: We tried to introduce harsh punishments for arsonists, but the influencers you listen to, overruled this bill in the ‘Human Rights Tribunal’ claiming it was in-humane. Resorting to ‘Plan B’, we pissed on the fires with little success! So, in true spirit of the popular ‘Go Fund Me’ campaign, could you please send us shiploads of ‘free beer’ to help us improve our efficiency in this matter.
Un-intentionally, Alias hits the wrong button on his ‘Time Machine’. He meets Noah, who is back on dry ground, busy mucking out his ark after all the animals have disembarked. Alias wishes Noah ‘good luck’ in re-populating the world with ‘all creatures great and small’ including humans. Then he turns his time machine forward by approx. eleven thousand years, Wednesday 10th November 2021 to be precise.
Glued to the computer screen, he learns that half of the Australian continent is in for an ‘almighty drenching’, causing widespread severe flooding, starting tomorrow. Unbeknown to Alias, ‘God the Almighty’ this time, is punishing humankind not for their sins but for their stupidity, ignorance and selfishness. Too late to build an Ark, Alias tries to book forty days and forty nights on a cruise ship. God says: “Sorry Mate, all booked out” due to the easing of Covid restrictions. No animals allowed on cruise ships either, I mean: “Who wants to spend the dawn of a brand-new world mucking out ships”? In desperation, Alias googles around for a ‘Safe Spot’ on a mountain top. God says: “Sorry Mate, non are available, all booked out, like Mount Everest has been for years. Noah started from the ground. Why do you modern humans always want to start from the top”?
Alias immerses himself in deep thought. He awakens to the reality that the ‘almighty rain’ will prevent bushfires, miraculously transforming God’s punishment into a blessing. On the other hand, he realizes that he can kiss the free beer from Britain good-bye. He goes to the pub and buys a pint.
We want our climate back?
In perspective, here are a few humble questions and messages for those who want ‘their’ climate back.
“Exactly what climate do you want back”? The ice ages, temperate ages, or perhaps the transition ages? Would you prefer to have the Sahara covered in rainforest again while central Europe is an arid land?
We have adapted to climatic and geological changes since we were ‘one-cellers’, and we are still here. Are you telling us that we should stop adapting and rather try and halt the processes of nature and evolution, which we are part of?
Presently, the human species, almost religiously cultivates pressing, high speed changes to art, technology, fashion trends and even of partners/spouses. Hardly a day goes by without changes or updates to the internet, banking, insurance policies or legislation. Opinions and personal interests, tastes and preferences from the political to nutrition, medicine, art, sport etc. keep changing like the weather. Yet ironically, you want the climate to stagnate?
Evolution and life itself are the product of change and adaptation. Quite simply, if it wasn’t for geological and climatic changes, life on earth would not exist, in fact we wouldn’t even have made it to be one-cellers.
Clearly, we have a pollution problem and much needs to be done. Let’s not ignore the fact that much has already been done and much work is in progress. Every time I travel, I am surprised by the enormous presence of private and commercial wind and solar farms, wherever I go. Let’s not ignore the fact that the electrification of cars, ships and even aircraft is well in progress, so is the clean-up and recycling of waste. Tree farms are a fast-growing business. Those facts are largely drowned out by the screams of ignorant, doomsday prophetical campaigners who instigate ill-informed young people to sacrifice some of their education, in support of their campaigns. A lack of education happens to be causing most of the world’s problems, which proceed from world views based on ignorance, half-truths, myths and lies. Only the whole truth counts, and facts don’t lie. Half-truths, myths and lies facilitate a perceived hopelessness leading to social and mental illness. One can be forgiven for ‘not knowing’ but ‘not wanting to know’ is deliberate and in-excusable.
I remember a prediction by renowned scientists in the 1970’s that carbon emissions coupled with the depletion of the ozone layer will lead to the extermination of all life on earth by the year 2000. I don’t know what happened to the ozone hole, it seems to have lost it’s appeal. The carbon apocalypse however, has been brought forward and postponed countless of times, making it hard to keep track. Now, some are demanding zero emissions by 2050, which is long after most of the predicted climate apocalypses. In desperation, I will again have to ask an intellectual to ‘please explain’, because common sense just cannot grasp this concept.
To promote a world view or a cause by means of provocation of fear and panic mongering, facilitates poor mental health in society. Chronic anger is a symptom of weakness, a bad consultant, and certainly not a peacemaker; ‘Blah blah Greta’ take note, ‘cheer up and chill out’.
To campaign for a just cause which you actually understand, is a passionate mission not a lifestyle or a career. I highly respect genuine campaigners who, besides addressing the problem and making themselves heard in a civilised manner and on their own informed initiative, also actively participate in ‘hands-on’ activities such as clean-up or tree planting projects, during their ‘free time’. To put it boldly, instead of angrily demonising and branding anyone who disagrees with you, calling them sceptics and deniers, “pick up a shovel and become part of the solution”.
P.S. “No-one ‘owns’ the climate”.